Love in the Time of Coloring

Somewhere back there.

2010-08-01T19:28:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i've written with intention. i tried to write during my trip but the words were as empty as your presence. sometimes i'm grateful my pen has not touched those pages, sometimes i wonder what's different. it's nice to walk away from self indulging pity and misery every now and then to smell the flowers long enough to learn their names. but i guess, one can never escape who they really are and what makes them bother to notice that flower in the first place. there's a time continuum surrounding me, that 'lost' feeling. it makes me miss being stable, droning into that boring monotony that some call life. that i myself had once called life. and now, this vast flotation of purgatory has become my present. i know i can escape it if i wanted to, if i wanted it bad enough. but how long would i want it bad enough before the next thing that comes along to fight for my attention? how deluded am i to crave immortality only to satiate that one desire to know who i was made for? i live in a fantasy world where i am my own story's main character and tragedy is my one true love. i will surrender in mercy if it means i can squeeze out another extreme version of the pain and emotional suffering that i have already inevitably allowed myself.

i miss you. i wish we could stop just reliving our memories, however great they were and however endlessly i may be reliving them. i wish we could live. again. and as much as i know how we both want to walk down a similar path together again, i have to force myself to accept a yet accepted truth that we are each our own now. i know that if i come back and we start doing things together, that things will naturally fall into place again. but i cannot guarantee that any more than i can convince myself that vampires don't really exist. you and my family are the only ppl i would cross oceans and back for, and i would hate to put that kind of pressure on you. i know that you understand what i mean. listen to me. this is me, without guards, without some phony facade, it's me. and i miss being me with someone. and i miss being your outlet. so where do we stand now? what do we do?

i don't know when i'll see you again, when our paths will fall into place again like it once had so perfectly. but i hope that it does.

Moving On.

2010-07-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

"You have to be 100% yourself before you can be someone's other half." -- BM

Alter Ego.

2010-07-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

I wish I had the courage to walk away
I wish I had the courage to stay
I wish I had the patience for this indefinite wait
To know that eventually, the love will replace the hate.
I wish you had the strength to love again
I wish you had the strength to stay away
I wish you had the patience for this kind of romance
And know that eventually our love might stand a chance.

Quiet Hope.

2010-05-31T18:07:00.000-07:00

When I'm tempted to kiss someone else
I will put those kisses in my pocket.
When my pocket overflows, I will store them in a box
And hug it with a pretty red ribbon.
When I'm lost and feeling lonely,
I'll know that my heart knows that it's you it misses.
When I'm thinking too much
I will put my pen to a piece of paper
To write my romance into a love letter
And seal it with hope and faith, for you.
I will work on my achievements and save them in a bank
So we can use it to build our home.
I will learn how to trust myself and break down these walls
So you can trust what you see when you see only me.
And when you tire from your search and what you have always been searching for,
You will find your present and not your past
You will find that my kisses, my hugs, my faith and my love
Were made and saved for none other than you.
And when you find me, I'll know that I have found you.

Pacing the Edge.

2010-05-23T17:51:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from The Zahir written by Paulo Coelho...

"A lovely hotel awaited me on the other side of the river, with its luxurious rooms its attentive employees, its five-star service. And that only made me feel worse, because I should have felt contented, satisfied with all I had achieved.
On the way back, I passed other people in the same situation and noticed that they fell into two categories: those who looked arrogant, because they wanted to pretend they had chosen to be alone that night, and those who looked sad and ashamed of their solitary state.
I'm telling you all this because the other day I remembered being in a hotel room in Amsterdam with a woman who was talking to me about her life. I'm telling you all this because, although in Ecclesiastes it says there is a time to rend and a time to sew, sometimes the time to rend leaves deep scars. Being with someone else and making that person feel as if they were of no importance in our life is far worse than feeling alone and miserable in the streets of Geneva."

That idiotic something.

2010-05-09T13:51:00.000-07:00

"They say you can't turn a bad girl good but once a good girl's gone bad, she's gone forever." Jay-Z.

"It sobers you up if you're drunk," he says.
Her presence throbs to my corner right.
"Sure, why not," I said.
Am I really doing this? One more glance.
Laughing, camera flashes, one shot has never felt so long.
"Alright but we gotta do it in the bathroom," he says.
I'm secretly begging now, please come back to me.
I walk over, I ask to have a drink, he checks his phone.
"Let's go," I said, "But just a little, I've never done it before."
"We can just do one line. I'm sorry, I'm fucked up right now,
are you sure you want to?" he asks.
"Yeah." By now, I've stopped any train of thought.
I didn't want to acknowledge what was going on.
I feel the questions, the doubt, the shame, the hurt -
Just trying to touch me. Trying to stop this rising wall.
The bathroom line is too long, it wasn't worth the wait.
Another bullet dodged.
Breathe. Be patient. Be classy. Just...take it.
Dance it off, block out the world, have fun.
Let the poison wash over you and give into it
That's your only comfort now.
That and the girl in pink who barely knows you,
But dances with you nonetheless,
Getting your 6's and 7's -
Everything he should've been doing, but isn't.
Another lifetime goes by, and I think I'm taking that leap of faith.
I see him smiling my way, walking towards me.
I see a hand on his shoulder, a whisper in his ear.
And just like that, the road forks into two.
We're always advised to take the path less trodden,
But he's always been a rebel.
How a simple touch can remind oneself that our safety net remains,
So fall back into it because "We're Safe."
A string from my heart to your feet
Watching you walk away,
My heartbeat sync'ed.
I'm secretly begging again.
But this time, offer me that line and I promise I will cross it.

So I ask myself today:
How did I end up being here? Again.
I traveled to the edges of this bubble
To release the bitter and have faith in the good.
You can ask for it, demand it,
But it's a promise you can only make to yourself.
And if the respect isn't there
Then something has to change
Someone has to go
A decision has to be made.
And I choose to respect myself.

Like lions we...wish to soar.

2010-05-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help but notice...

The murky glass ceiling that prevents us from seeing the stars that aren't there,

The leaves on that tree growing indoors, how it changes with the seasons.

The cockroach amidst the oranges, heading for me and my solo,

The waiter, who's only as good as the manager if he's gay.

Those eyes like drawn out dragonflies, and a heartbeat translucent as its wings

Comes a still frame, with the contours of a blond chardonnay

So dry I tasted the kiss of unkissed lips,

A night without socks is a night without bowling,

A night with a guest list is the one night we decide to go nameless.

Love comes and lovers go,

Good times stay and heartbreaks follow.
Pride won't let us look back
But we're too proud to move forward, too proud to let go,
Just terrified of the fear that makes us vulnerable.

And sometimes...I just can't help but notice why that is.

Enough.

2010-04-12T20:07:00.000-07:00

From the The Mexican...

Samantha: I have to ask you a question. It's a good one so think about it. If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?
Jerry: Never.

I remember when I first heard that quote and thought "They just described what love should always be like in a nutshell." But when you become the leading role to your own play, things never cease to be easier said than done.

I once couldn't figure out how to live with a thorn in my side so I ran. I ran away so that I wouldn't have to. But I'm tired of running because in the end I realized that I was just that - tired.

I'm saying this today because I'm hoping that if I give it enough time, that time will do me justice. That I am once again confronted with a dead end, with no solution in sight because I can't help feeling the way that I do and that I'm tired of trying to figure out why I feel this way.

We will keep talking about it, but nothing will ever change. When I realize that nothing changes, I will stop talking because I will feel like I am not being heard. But I will continue to try, to try and confront you because I am still hoping that time will be fair to me. That somehow the one person that I swear understands how I feel, will be enough to compensate for it - simply by understanding. But sometimes, two people with the same disease does not mean there is a cure.

So, I will swallow my pride and suck it up because you have been nothing less than worth it. But should it eat me down to the person I no longer am today, don't ask me how and don't ask me why.

Back to Basics.

2010-03-16T23:46:00.000-07:00

I recently ran into an old post of mine and it brought me back to myself. A person can forget how strong they are, how far they've come, and how much they've accomplished. My point today? If I had risen above once before, there's nothing that's stopping me from doing so again. Strive to love, love to live, and live to let love in. Switchboard - let's bring this girl back to life.

(3 years back...)
Love is amazing. Falling in love can be amazing too, even when we fall too fast and too hard for our patience to catch up. What's truly phenomenal though, are the days gone by when romance was just a novel, a fantasy just beyond our reach.

Behind the attic wall, lies a secret - a universal secret that we all hold a key to our own. A key made entirely out of hopes and endless dreams. A secret we all share but never speak of because if we do, our dreams may never come true. As if dreams come true by tucking it away with our inner child anyway. The secret? To love and be loved.

When 'things' become too complicated and too difficult to handle, we often retreat and wish for simpler times. But when was there a time when 'things' weren't difficult, without having to look back? So we stand still in savasana, fighting the itch to turn our backs and plunge into denial, let the difficulty wash over us and drink in the benefits of yet another life altering piece of the freaking puzzle.

My point? I have no point. My inner child likes to ramble along to black coffee with 2 packets of splenda, no more. She's a badass that kid.

For mine, for he asked me to be His.

2010-02-09T21:49:00.000-08:00

Listen. I met someone. He makes me want to run from this life right into the next. He makes me laugh. He makes me want to write endlessly about this invisible connection, this universal understanding. He makes me want to read. If I read enough, maybe I can read his mind. He makes me forget all that hurts because he hurts so much more - chasing the path of bliss in its full circle. He speaks to me in every song, as if he had personally hand picked each one for my ears only. He comes to me at night and traces over my skin in a way that shadows my own, because he knows me well. But he never stays, always gone before first light. And that first waking breath will always, always smell of him. As if he never left. As if being half way around the world can't stop me from missing him.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Wrong Answer.

2010-02-04T18:32:00.000-08:00

I eye the door, anticipate the walk, release my last breath of courage before I turn the knob. I look into his face, searching, pleading that he might understand what I'm asking of him. But he has it so well guarded that the only way in was out that door. I hesitate, not wanting to walk away. For I know the second I walk out that door, I will never look back. I'll always wonder about that last facial expression...but wonder is all it will ever be. He won't ask me to stay, but he won't let go of my hand. I ask him one last question. He gives me one last answer and I could feel the scar run through my veins; the same veins that once loved him as much as the love it carried. Wrong answer, says my heart.

Lovesick.

2010-01-20T00:35:00.000-08:00

Sick with a love that is as uncertain as the future and the sea of time that sits between us. For a boy who will come home when he is ready to a girl with who will chase the edges of the world to show him that she always has been.

If the world fell apart into a trillion little pieces today
I'd tell you that I'm glad things are finally falling into place.
That this conscious awareness of patience
Has been, all along, patiently waiting
To catch up to us from our past lives.
When we can wake up to each other one day
And see the new in all that has gone dull.

Little Miss Splendid's Best Friend.

2009-07-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a little something about my best friend Amy. We'll refer to her as A. For the longest time, I refrained from calling her my best friend and you'll soon enough know why. She was always just a 'friend', 'one of my closest friends', 'co-worker', or 'Amy, the girl I'm attached to by the hip'. Infamous A.

You see, I've cycled through best friends and lovers, commitments and flings like a good load of laundry. Some I've dumped and some I've been dumped and all due to this scary little pest we'll call 'attachment' aka 'dependence'. You know what they say - marriage is the death to any relationship no matter how passionate. I guess deep down, I was afraid to call her my best friend even though she was because I'd grow attached and with attachments comes commitment problems. With categorization comes obligations. Things that best friends are supposed to do together or for each other. And getting mad for no reason. And expectations. Because you see, it was also never like that between us. Which is probably why we were able to become so close. If you were to compare it to a romantic relationship, it'd be like being in a completely open and non-exclusive one. Free to take on other best friends and knowing that there are indeed other friends without the whole jealousy and 'we're not spending enough time together' crap. We hang out whenever we feel like it and we don't necessarily always have to do anything - which is probably why we keep running around in circles.

I've also never called her my best friend because - well because I was scared that if I grew too dependent, that I'd chase the friendship away. That I'd start having ideal expectations and realize that maybe she isn't my best friend when she didn't live up to them. Of course, no friends should hold any of these expectations. But like any other relationship, the feelings come with the territory. I knew that we wouldn't always have each other to lean on and one day, we'd go our separate ways. So why even play the whole categorization game? She can stay as long as she wants in the 'friend' slot and leave whenever she feels like it, no explanation required. And by then, I talked about her so much that everyone just knew who this 'Amy' person was even though they've never met her.

But in actuality, she IS my best friend. She's become the best friend of best friends. No one can say how long this friendship will last. No one can say how long any relationship will last. But I guess I'm ready to invest in this one...and I think I have for the longest time and was just afraid to acknowledge it, comforting myself by thinking that if I don't acknowledge her importance, I wouldn't feel the weight of devastation if this friendship ever came to an end.

I think being away from her has put our friendship to the test and realizing that things never changed even though we're both pursuing different paths. We both wish we could have each other to share our journeys with. But I know that deep down, we're even more proud of the fact that with our lives apart our friendship still stands strong. And that my friend, is the exact ingredient that continually feeds this bond - knowing that it's strong enough to withstand distance and time.

And that's the story of my best friend Amy.

This was written about a year ago and the friendship continues to thrive to this day, stronger with each passing day - together or not. See you soon - let us discover what this Winter Wonderland is all about.

TW and All Its Departing Goodness

2009-07-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

Seventeen months ago I would not have been able to tell you that I left because I was, in actuality, running from a situation that I had no solution to. That I had surrendered to a greater cause but in the same sense, a more cowardly action. I forced myself forward because I didn't know how to heal in the midst of a heartbroken battlefield. When your friends feel like strangers you had to answer to and homesickness washes over you within your home, you question everything that was once something you had control over. Seventeen months ago, I submerged myself into a journey of solitude because I felt I deserved it. That I needed to learn independence, that perhaps I needed to develop a thicker skin. That I needed to hit the reset button because I wanted to abandon that accumulation of bitter resentment and have faith in the good of people again. I was sinking fast and deep so I swam for rock bottom at top speed, in hopes that the sooner I touched it the sooner I can come back up.

And come back up I did. I've recently stumbled upon a soul that reminded me that there will always be something and someone greater than the last. The grass will always seem greener on the other side. For some of us, we will always chase it to no end. For others, we'll choose to give up on it - in a good way, because we've found our happy place where we have what we feel is enough. Even now, I can't say that I've found a solution to that situation that I have ran from. But I can honestly say that I am no longer haunted by it. I have let go of a place that I knew I had never wanted to be (thank you stubborn self).

Today, I feel I am once again forcing myself forward so I can embrace the wonderful effects of life in its full circle. To be strong, to be independent, to not be needy because of the dark places that it has left me in. But if you asked me today, I would want to stay. I'm tired of running, of being scared, of confrontation, of the uncertainty, of this...evanescence. I know we have to be strong and go our own way. But if you asked me today, I'd tell you that home has always been where the heart is. And if time played a role in matters of the heart, I'd tell you that it is anchored approximately 54 minutes from here and the further I swim, the more it hurts.

Some things just never change. In the end, you just gotta know that you too deserve it and nothing less.

Blog, what blog?

2008-08-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

Delayed update - I know. I've been busy doing...stuff. But here's a giggle:

(After 5 minutes of complete jibberish and wonking around with my first class of the day...)

Me: Hey. Do you guys think I'm crazy?
(A couple of smiles, some pretend straight faces)
Me: Seriously, do you think Teacher is crazy?
Charles: (bravely) Mmm. Like 50/50.
Me: Ok. That's not so bad.
Charles: Wait. Maybe like 70/30.
Me: You mean 70% crazy and 30% normal?
Charles: No. 70% crazy and 30% stupid.

Thanks Charles. I needed that.

And some photo updates for your viewing pleasure as always. First and foremost - first time KTV'ing in Taiwan (aka karaoke).

Me, Danni, & Scott. I never fail to look like the idiot.

Some Taiwanese ppl. It's only natural to have them in there too.

There I go again. Every. single. time.

Yay!

Then it was off to shoot some infomercial the next day - completely hungover and reeking of alcohol with about 4 hours of sleep sans shower, any form of teeth brushing or mouth rinsing, same clothes and underwear. I mean, I DID change for the shoot and took a quick Mexican shower but the nappy hair and bad breath - wonk wonk.

Suffocating in my own filth while she cakes on the white makeup.

And we're rolling...

...At least he had a comfy bed to almost pass out on. To save himself from boredom, he tried to inconspicuously take pics of the crew's asses...

...yet rather unsuccessfully.

By now, I am completely dehydrated and melting under the lights. And dying to scratch my crotch. Ha! Don't act like you don't get those moments, you dirty bastard.

The other girls.

...And a shot from the final product. Yes, that happens to be the latest vibrator in town. Super industrial to withstand long lasting usage with phenomenal battery life. For rated G purposes, I will not disclose the actual infomercial link.

And then some weekends afterwards, we thought to go for a cheap bicycle ride along the river. The breeze was mighty splendid.

And I think my camel toe caught some of that breeze too. :) Don't pretend like that wasn't the first thing you noticed.

The view. If you look closely, Taipei 101 is there. Swear it.

Our super cheap rental bikes - Pinky and Tin Man - $0.50 - $1.50 per hour.

And finally, an ugly looking bridge colored in orange and purple. Talk about lack of color coordination.

And so sums up some of the things I've been up to. Minus all the limitless drinking - but I figure you've been getting enough of that so I'll spare you this time around. But I can guarantee you - we have NOT been lazy in that department.

Super excited about upcoming travels - looking at Cambodia and Laos during Thanksgiving so holla back if you're interested. But for a more immediate taste of gratification - 'Breaking Dawn' will be arriving in my mailbox soon (thanks Jack), the ongoing sequel to a popular vampire fiction. So I dig sexy vampires, bite me.

A typical night

2008-07-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

Three, two, one...Bimbo.

2008-06-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

You heard right. That's how my 7 year olds do the countdown...three, two, one, BIMBO! Although I'm pretty sure they mean "Bingo!" I also asked my older kids who's their favorite American actor:

Marcus: Oh Teacha yes, you know Black Pig?

Me: Black Pig? (He nods). Who's Black Pig?

Marcus: C'mon Teacha, so famous! You must know. Much handsome!

Me: Why do they call him Black Pig? Is he black?

Marcus: No, whiter than you! C'mon, Black Pig! Umm....yes, the Angelina husband!

Another mystery solved. On with some visuals!

All we really do is play games with the kids, getting them to speak as much English as possible. We get yelled at by our managers if we don't. Talk about being backwards. So anyway, this is how I like to keep score sometimes - drawing ugly faces. Sometimes I get shivers just looking at drawings cuz they're so realistically ugly. Eeegh.

Last night was pretty sad. We had a intimate get together for Corrie's last night out in Taiwan - she's headed back to the States. Boston to be exact. Cape Cod to be even more so. Don't we hate Boston as much as they hate NY? (Except for Cape Cod because they produce very Skaterboy like products. Sorry, inside joke.) And here are some pics showing just how intimate it was....

Corrie and me half cut

One can clearly tell how much we'll miss her...

Me and Hammie - we be thinkin some scandalous thoughts

"Calling all gays!"

Honey, please! I'll do what I want!

This is such a jaded NY face, ain't it? He went to Stuy. Fag.

And here's a brief clip of Rebecca, also a fellow teacher I met during training. She lives a bit far so I visited her for the weekend and had an awesome girly girly talking, DVD time. She's headed back to Spokane for July 4th...I'm so jealous.

You'll Always be My Seattle.

2008-06-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Do you hear me, I'm talking to you
Across the water, across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying.
Boy I hear you in my dreams,
I feel you whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart,
You make it easier when life gets hard.

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home someday....

Wherever that may be. We'll meet again one day. Promise.

What we wanna be when we grow up...complete idiots.

The clock tower in Vancouver...what the hell were we doing in Vancouver?!

The Moore Theatre & Hotel...you'd leave if you had somewhere to go.

Our one and only Starbucks, iced non-fat vanilla chai please.

BPC ain't got shit on...on this water that runs along Pike St. Market

Ben Ben's bathroom the night before our hiking trip...

Calling Mr. Rusty Thrasher...

At the edge of NW America. Seriously. Any further and you'd end up in Canada. It's a scary thought.

Hey remember Ginger? Of course you do, it's that dumb bimbo GPS that kept giving us wrong directions. And don't go thinking "yeah, cuz it's a girl" cuz Ginger was a trannie.

The family...well, like two of them. I don't know who that girl is. Who is she and why does she keep popping up in my pictures?

My grandma says kiwi makes you go poo poo

And some footage from our days in the land of vampires. It was...most awesome.

Taiwan Scattergories

2008-05-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Actual Name of the Game: Scattergories
Classroom Name: Teacha, play dice!
Task: Think of words for a specific category that no one else has in order to score points. If someone else wrote down the same word: no points.
Student's Method of Task Completion: Copy foreign words off English posters made in Taiwan (clearly).

Round 1 Category: Animals

Me: Alright Stacey, what've you got?
Stacey: Elephant.
Me: Who's got elephant? (no hands) Good! One point for Stacey.
Stacey: Star, Teacha, I want star!
Me: Sure. Wilson, give me an animal.
Wilson: Cock.
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Wilson: COCK!
Me: By 'cock' you mean...
Wilson: (eagerly pointing at the animal poster with a ROOSTER on it)
Me: Right. Cocka-doodle-do. Who's got cock? (no hands) Score Wilson, score.

Round 2 Category: Vegetables

Mandy: Eggplant!
Me: Whoa, good one. Who's got eggplant? (everyone) Aww, that's too bad Mandy. No star. You're up Jack.
Jack: Cum.
Me: (straight face) Cum? (he nods) I...don't...think...cum's a vegetable Jack.
Jack: (clearly confused) Yes it is!
Me: Well, what's a cum?
(At this point, all students are jumping up and down asking "What's cum, what's cum?!" until I read what he wrote.)
Me: CoRn, Jack. CORRRN.
Jack: Yes, cun is a vegetable!

So you see, teaching in Taiwan ain't all that bad. If you don't make a big reaction, the kids won't suspect they said anything bad. But in some cases, they do catch on and will use it at any chance they possibly get, in all the wrong contexts. It's cool in my book cuz it's still English right?

The past two weekends have been no different - more drinking, partying, and...weird dancing.

Anthony came to town so we grabbed a full meal to line our tummies...

My delicious wonton soup noodle with passion fruit tea

Then it's off to join our other teaching buddies at a cafe lounge, Roxy Junior's.
Alastir & Charlene

Mike, Tom, & Gemma discussing how tall Taiwan cockroaches are

Ant, me, & Trent kicking back on some NASTY appletini's

Ant successfully cradle robbing...

After we convinced Ant to give the baby back, we headed over to Roxy 99's which is under the same chain as Roxy Junior. See, you work your way up and into the world of drunken stupor and gropage. You start with Roxy Junior's, the dance and mingle with ass grabbers at Roxy 99 (think Icehouse in Binghamton), and then move into some sultry aftermath at Vibe (like a Roxy Senior). Then you wake up in broad daylight about 10ft from your doorstep, face was in the ground, with a McD's bag clutched in your left hand. What the fuck just happened? Well, for starters, this did:

Bringing back the videos...featuring Mx & Mike

Alan - one of the first teachers I've met here.

Corrie and Kat

Paul and Kat

Mike - the giver

Alastir with the giver in the back, of course

Mx

Me & Corlia - treadmill buddy

Hammie and Corlia - workout buddies

When the going gets good

Good times come in 3's

Tome & drunken Gemma. We don't know the fob in the back.

A taste of Mike's hardcore dancing. Viewer's discretion is advised.

Next weekend, we opted for something a little more mellow and laid back so we checked out this live band venue called "Oldies Goodies" entertaining, to say the least, watching these Taiwanese folk perform. Ha.

Enjoy SATC in NYC!!! Ting Ting Bao Bao (xoxo).

The Source of all Activities Gay

2008-05-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

I have decided that I'd rather die from bug repellent overdose than be eaten alive by gigantic flying cockroaches, spiders, and/or mosquitoes. A co-worker told me that there's a time when the weather gets so humid that all these goddamned bugs come out from their hiding places to torment the human beings and you can hear them smacking into windows cuz they're just flying everywhere. I couldn't tell if he was bullshitting me but I don't like to take chances. So I went online and found this...for really cheap too. You best believe I'd wear one of these bad boys because I'm gonna be ready for those suckers.

Last weekend we partied like animals and drank like our forefathers. I mean what else are foreigners in a foreign land supposed to do besides hang out with other foreigners doing exactly what we did back home? The Idioteque party was held at The Source, a small venue known as a gay has-been. The only gay activities we were blessed with were some pole-dancing, expertly demonstrated by our very own Andy and Trent. I failed to capture any of it on film but once again - bravo Trent, bravo. This guy never ceases to amaze me with his sleek pole sliding skills and dainty prancing, and of course the double fisting.

Trent & Brenda

Brian & Andy

Kester & Kyvin (sp?) performing live...

Andy & Paul (bday boy)

Paul, Corrie, Hammie & Cat

Paul & Corrie

Next day, I headed out to Rose House for a very SATC tea time with Elaine, whom I'd met and worked on set with back home. It was awesome talking to someone who's hometown is Taiwan but has lived in NY and loved it. The cultures, school systems, guys, social lives, you name it.

Waffles & hot Green Mango fruit tea for me...

Elaine sipping her iced Apple fruit tea via champagne glass...

And to top off all this G-rated blogging, I changed my bedsheets to an alluring leopard print. My mom, dad, grandma, and baby cousin all read this so I don't think they want to hear about which foreign countries I've been visiting, privately. Kidding mom, kidding. You're wondering how all my clothes fit into that one small wardrobe. It doesn't.

YaoMingShan (translation: YaoMing Mountain, not the basketball player)

2008-05-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

I realized my blogs have been dwindling. I would like to say that I've been so busy running around all of Taiwan that I simply don't have the time. That the videos take too long to upload and it's a pain in the ass. But truth be told, I spend most of my time resisting the urge to scratch my monstrous mosquito bites. See the trick is to scratch around them. Tricky. And time consuming. That and I've been lazy. And there are no videos because Connie's got a new camera!

This past Sunday we went to the Calla Lilly Festival at YaoMingShan. For a small fee, you get to hand-pick Calla Lillies of your choice. Pretty cool considering I had no fucking clue what a Calla Lilly was before I got there. The weather was generous for the first half of the day, cuz lord it rains more than Forks, Washington. From the top of the mountain, you get to see all of Taipei City but I didn't get in any of those pics because we spent most of our time in the garden and hiking along a short trail. What does that mean? That there will be a YaoMingShan Part Deux!

The farm...

A sign that means absolutely nothing to me...

But it must've been important.

The picking and massive picture-taking begins...

TA Selena...

TA Kie with his new haircut...

Receptionists Tina and Daphne

The way he was posing with that umbrella, he was dying to have his picture taken!

Mission accomplished! We made the guys take this picture for us and they complimented us for our flaming choice of pose. I sadly agreed but they wouldn't take the picture unless I conformed. It was hilarious. On the bright side, my mom's going to love this picture. The flowers would've been a cheap yet thoughtful Mother's Day gift...so I sent her a picture of what I would've given her. Even cheaper and less thoughtful.

Then we went for a short hike up the mountain, with lizards galore...eek!

And finally, to reward ourselves for a job well done we settled down for tea time at a nice little bubble tea cafe where I tried a soothing cup of hot pine nut milk tea. And then hit the Shilin Night Market for some super cheap shopping!

Hiking, tea time, and shopping. Can life get any better? (Yes yes, I know it can but shut up and let me indulge alright? Jackass.)

Love Will Always Win.

2008-05-04T01:59:00.001-07:00

'Tis true.

If you love the video, you can vote for Tris here
http://www.aniboom.com/Player.aspx?v=212898

He lit a cigarette and said, "Maybe you can call it 'Love in the time of Coloring' because we've both been such children about this whole thing."

My Kids.

2008-04-28T04:19:00.002-07:00

For the most part, the kids at Shane are enjoyable to teach. Actually, entertaining is more like it. They're nice kids but they never cease to amuse me - nervously farting during a one-on-one oral exam, picking their noses then quickly stuffing it in their mouths. Just the other day, two boys from my older class gave each other lap dances for the sake of acting out a love story. In return for a job well done, I granted them less homework. You're thinking - how perverse, tricking young boys into homosexuality. It's true. But I bet you're just mad you didn't come up with the idea sooner. Seriously though, it is frustrating at times when they just refuse to learn and you realize just how bad it is come midterm/final exam. For example, a recent oral exam went a little something like this -

Me: Do you drink a lot of milk?
Student: In my refrigerator, there are a few eggs.
Me: (slowly repeating with a few hand gestures) Do...you...drink...a lot...of...milk?
Student: There are a lot of milk.

I'm thinking: wow. I kid you not. I actually witnessed a similar situation while Teacher Paul was giving an oral exam (funny, no pun intended) that went like this -

Paul: (holding up a blue pen) Is this pen blue?
Student: My name is John.
Paul: No no, see this? (waves pen) Is it blue?
Student: Today....(blank stare)
Paul: Is it blue? (Starts giving away the answer by nodding) 'Yes, it....'
Student: Yes, it do!

Clever young things aren't they? And they love imagining this crazy life for me...

And we got two new teachers: Tom and Gemma, both of them taught in Vietnam before coming to Taiwan. We went out for a couple of drinks at The Voice, where we also met two other teachers they knew from Vietnam. Brenda (one of my TA's), and Trent was there two. Double fisting of course.

Forever yours.

2008-04-21T01:51:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me well, will know that I did not travel half way around the world to Taiwan in search of true romance. Granted it's something I would do, there's nothing here that I don't have in NY. If anything, I'm running away from love - all of it. The heartbreak, the responsibilities, the commitment, living on the cusp of a damned passion that's constantly threatening to end. And then what?

NY is a land of opportunity, tis true. Everything is a window of opportunity to a lucrative business. If growing up in NY has taught me anything at all, it's that one person can actually drown in its endless possibilities of fame and/or fortune. If you really wanted it, come to NY and you shall have it. Exercise your power and knowledge of a user and abuser, and everyone is at your disposal. With all the beauty that walk the streets around us, we become vain shells. In a city where gratuity for our services are required, we're used to paying for a smile without ever understanding the true meaning of sincerity. There's a fine line between a gold-digger and a wife. A salesperson and the devil. A model/actress and a high-end courtesan. There's no telling who is what and what is fucked up. But I love NY nonetheless, fucked up - born and bred.

Coming to Taiwan, where opportunities are limited but anything can happen - it helps filter out what really matters. Without your security blanket, an ocean between you and your loved ones - you start to realize who you truly are on the inside, what you can and can't live without.

And for the record, Trent is not my boyfriend. So please stop harassing.

On that note - LET'S GO RANGERS!!!

And METS!!!

Going down...south.

2008-04-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

It was Tomb Sweeping weekend and we had a few days off so we decided to head down south to explore some new territory. First we took a nice comfy bus ride down to Taichung where it sucked ass. Besides a really big and cheap night market, there was really not much going on. Everytime we asked for directions, someone would always put us in a cab and we'd end up in bumblefuck. I swear it's karma from all those times we sent tourists on a path train to New Jersey when they wanted to go to Times Square.

After the night, we booked outta there asap and took a crappier bus ride down to Tainan and to our relief, they welcomed us with open arms!

It was the weekend of Mazu Festival - when they celebrate the exit of one God and celebrate the arrival of the next. I think they have a few Gods in which they rotate over the course of a lunar year to watch over the people. It was a parade a minute with firecrackers at every turn of a corner, and fireworks at night. And this took place BOTH days we were there. Muy festive! And then we happened upon their form of traffic control, which we found to be quite amusing....

At least s/he gets the job done. There were also billions of temples, amongst them is the famous Confucius Temple, Chi Kan Temple, Temple of the 5 Concubines, etc.

Some ancient artifacts preserved from the first days of the Confucius temple. Tells us a great deal about how they lived back then.

Then we tried some different foods that Tainan are well known for - like Wha Gwei. I actually have no idea what it is. I told my local Taiwanese friends that I tried that and they said, "Oh yes! I know what that! It's really good!" I still have no idea what that was.

A stroll in the park right before our 6 hour ride on the train SITTING ON THE FLOOR. Spontaneity just doesn't work well when it comes to a holiday weekend in Taiwan. Both train and bus stations were packed with people trying to get back home. Nobody spoke english so the closest we got was a ticket machine - except they had translations like "Fu Zing" and "Chu Lin" which means absolutely nothing to us! 6 hours. On the floor. It was a nightmare.

The National Palace Museum

2008-03-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Outside of the lovely museum. It truly feels like entering a kingdom.

I would've just taken a picture...IF I HAD A WORKING CAMERA!

Oh fishy fishy, what ugly creatures you are.

Oh TBT, what a gay creature you are.

Footy Match

2008-03-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

Ahh yes. Good 'ole football. OR SOCCER. That's one thing I haven't been able to grasp - calling soccer 'football', and trying to illustrate American football by referencing rugby. And what the hell is a fish fillet (fil-let)?! It's 'fish fil-LAY'! Anyway, back to the match. It was my first time watching a live but unofficial soccer match - the Taiwan National team (or something) versus a foreign club team...the equivalence of a Knicks vs. All Star Team game. We went to support a couple of our Shane teachers who were on the club team, and to provide comforting smacks on the bum when they lost. The National Team was just too cool for school.

Tour buddy Trent was kind enough to patiently explain the rules in soccer for me. I, on the other hand, was tipped off half a beer trying to follow the play and listen to the rules with x-ray goggles on the goalie, all the while holding in my pee. Multi-tasking can be such a bitch.

Afterwards, we went to a Roxy Junior's - a little cafe bar with outdoor seating - for a few beers and some people watching. Or, in this case, a little teacher on teacher action...

TBT.Meet tour buddy Trent. You'll be seeing him in a lot of my videos and crappy pictures. He's a towering 6'2", useful for scaring off locals with his dashing foreign appearance and it's like walking around with a get-out-of-jail-free card. He can get away with eating on the train and running red lights. I sure as hell can't. (No eating or drinking on the train? Absurd, I know.)

Trent also tends to attract older women, especially ones with 12 year old daughters. But hey, it's lunch after 12 and for a guy his size to be in Taiwan - he'll need the 2 for 1 deal.

Hungover Tourism Part 1.5

2008-03-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

So here's an effort to make use of our Sundays in a more 'efficient' way. Since it's the only day that EVERYONE has off, we all try to get pissed off trashed the night before (except for me because I like to do my laundry on Sat. nights and have ONE beer. My tolerance is embarrassing, I know.) Then we drag ourselves out of bed the next morning despite the pounding headaches and upset stomachs because we don't want to sleep our day away (but we really do), and we still want to see more of Taiwan...the country we're growing to love...

This week, we went to visit the Longshan Temple which is one of the longest standing temples in Taiwan, architecturally speaking. I think. The tourist pamphlet doesn't say much here...so I'll refrain from doing so too. There were tons of people praying, incense everywhere, food offerings for the gods, gigantic paper mache things, and outside was a night market where people sold things they probably stole off a delivery truck or other people.

The gave out incense...

Alright, so we were REALLY at IKEA, furniture shopping. We also had Pizza Hut for the first time here (we ordered the Supreme) and to my amazement - it tasted like Pizza Hut! Of course they had all that other weird toppings too like fried rice, egg tart, or shrimp and corn - otherwise, it just wouldn't be AZN.

Then we headed over to the hockey game where I pee'd all over myself and the reason being - I had to use one of these fuckers...

This is actually the cleanest one I have seen so far. Believe you me, I have seen WAY nastier ones. I taste a little stomach bile just thinking about. Ugh.

Sharks vs Wolves (14-1)

2008-03-16T12:39:00.000-07:00

Apparently, sports are a big part of Taiwan's past time - soccer (or 'football'), baseball (he-who-shall-not-be-named because blogger is a METS fan), basketball, and rugby even. Hockey? Not so much. But it was very exciting to learn that they even play hockey here and their games are free to watch.

The arena that it takes place in makes the MSG look like cow dung, but the small bleacher section that is devoted to this icy spectacle IS cow dung. No, really. Picture school gymnasium with the players changing behind metal bleachers that only take up one side of the rink. The announcers share the 'booth' space with the penalty boxes, keep track of scores on a laptop that plays intermission music along with a mic to personally vocalize the buzzer at the end of each period...

Not to mention I also saw him blatantly pick his ass. There was no home team so I decided to root for the Sharks (green) because...well, because I like green and it seemed like they were the cuter team. But they lost, 14-1. Yes. Embarrassing as it was, we stuck with it til the end only to prove that this is why Connie never gambles.

Afterwards, a few of my co-workers brought me to one of their regular Sunday night hangouts - Carnegie's. A laid back rockish joint that could use a jukebox or two, and most definitely a live rock band. From what they tell me though, the place turns into a complete whorehouse on Wednesdays, where foreigners feast on Taiwanese locals. And without further ado, meet some of my co-workers la....

Marcus, "Hammie, can I have your cherry?"

Hammie, "Oh yes, of course!"

Alastir, "Did you just...?!?!"

Trent, "You badass bro."

Marcus, "...am I?...

I like the way it popped in my mouth."

Alastir, "Show me, you bastard. Like this?"

James, "I like little boys!"

Alastir, "Or like..."

James, "Um...."

James, "I like little boys! "

Marcus (sighs), "Yes James, we know."

Trent, "Wow."

`

Home is Where the Heart is....

2008-03-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

You know guys...there's a reason why I'm not in the film-making industry. And that's because I don't own a pair of fake boobs. No, it's because Connie can't - for the life of her - shoot anything properly. I'm sorry, I'm really trying my best. I won't even blame the broken camera. Anyway, here's a brief video of my neighborhood, downstairs from my apartment...

You'll notice that I tend to make Battery Park City references a lot. That's actually quite funny considering the fact that I'VE NEVER LIVED THERE BEFORE. I've never actually been up the Statue of Liberty either. And I've only ever visited the Empire State building because it was a mandatory Junior High School trip. And yet here I am, talking like some fancy hoitty-toitty brat that's too uptown for small, industrial little Sanchong. How New York of me. But I only speak so fondly of BPC in comparison because if I move back, I'd like to live in BPC and raise bratty little kids with a dashing Swedish hockey player of a husband, preferrably with the last name Lundqvist.

Sorry, got carried away. Here are a few clips of other apartments I saw that were...not so great. Actually, they were downright crappy. And when I say crappy, I'm being super generous. See for yourself...

I have a clip of my apt but it exceeds the upload limit. I'd take another shorter video except I'm embarrassed by it's work in progress. I don't want to give off bad impressions of my bachelorette pad (bow chicka chicka bow wowng). Hehe.

Danshui...And More Food.

2008-03-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm in my bed, having a Taiwanese beer and developing some sort of itch on my calves. Maybe I'm dirty? Although I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be some allergic reaction. Or maybe I'm just dirty. It's Taiwan - blessed with excessively sweaty glands (thanks to the tropical weather, esp. in the summertime), and lacking in the deodorant department. But you're right - that doesn't explain why I'm dirty with itchy calves. Anyway, here are some pictures from a day spent in Danshui. It's somewhere north of the city (I think), right by the water with tons of scrumpdidiliotious food vendors/stands/restaurants that are once again - dirt cheap. You can only imagine what an attraction this place might be so there was a massive amount of people just going to town on stinky tofu's, fresh fruit drinks, fried sweet potato puffs (one of my favorites), tofu stuffed with green bean noodles, ice cream, eggs cooked/boiled/preserved, etc. Dude I can go on forever about the food here. It's the neverending story. Haha, get it? Still corny, I know.

The scenic views up there were fantabulous - from the romantic sunsets on fisherman's wharf to the tranquil yet speedy boat ride between the wharf and the bus/train stop. Almost reminds me of times spent looking at sunsets in Battery Park City. Which reminds me, there have a small Statue of Liberty right around the Taipei 101 area...check out the footage below.

And I also met up with Ophelia for dinner (yes, more food) - she's a very good friend of my previous employer/broker back home and she is such a sweetheart. We went out for a traditional Taiwanese meal that consisted of a few small dishes so we could try different things. We had pork liver, crab with sticky rice, steamed veggies, spring rolls with peanut sauce/pork/egg/crab/veggies (the best!), noodles, and Taiwanese beer - which I've discovered to be quite good. And that means a lot coming from a non-beer person. Mmmm, I'm salivating at the thought of all these foods! Luckily for me, they're just right around the corner :)

Reel 'Em In!

2008-03-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

Some Bridge. Riding on the back of Daphne's scooter. She takes me everywhere and she's such the speed demon.

Fellow teachers at Shane English School, where I teach.

On our way to go watch "Vantage Point" (it sucked, watch it online) with Ant and the staff from my school. The cinema was near Taipei 101 so I took a lame video from a distance. We'll get up there sooner or later.

The popular form of transportation apparently (or obviously) is the scooter. How's that for sexy? There's definitely no scooter-blinging rims or tints to go with non-existent body kits, but the people here ride 'em dirty all the same. And I mean that in the most literal sense - as in if you don't look before you cross, you will most definitely get run over because there's no right of way and nobody gives two shits if you're a 'pedestrian.' Maybe a muddy splash if it rained. And you thought Chinatown was bad.

Shilin Night Market

2008-03-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

(It might look like penis, but it's not. It's...tempura? and pig's blood brown rice cakes. I think.)
Seriously guys. Do you know what it means when I say that this town smells like the mouth piece of my grandmother's algae colored rotary phone? ALL THE TIME! Or it could be the stinky tofu. Because I had it 'bout 6-7 hours ago and it hasn't even begun to leave my system yet. More like it's stuck in my pores. Maybe permanently. But it was mighty scrumptious, amongst other dirt cheap foods that I keep trying at these night markets.

We had cool noodles tonight and it was orgasmic! Not like chocolate orgasmic - but peanut sauce orgasmic. We had tapioca drinks where the tapioca was fresh (but doesn't mean I don't miss powered blizzards), and all kinds of red bean desserts. And dude! they even make falafel/fajita/gyro-like things and it looks authentic too! Didn't try it though...just not at the homesick/missing western food phase yet. Except for some good ole NYC pizza...mmmmm.

Anyway, here's a picture of my desk. If you look closely, there's a little bulletin pad that has my name on it. I love that I have my own set of everything: pens, white board markers, cd case, drawer - COMPLETE with 'Connie' labels and all! I hate that I can't avoid picking up a half-assed British accent. The teachers, all the phonics audio tapes we play for the kids - it's brainwashing. I thought I was becoming quite good but apparently, I'm giving Teacher Issac and Teacher James the chills. And Teacher James is actually from London or whatever.

And somebody find me a nail/hair/beauty salon that actually waxes!! It's literally unheard of over here and I refuse to go on wolfing it. A howl to those of you who are though.

45 - Salon or Saloon?

2008-03-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

What a night. I feel like I just got home from happy hour, except it's 3AM. Actually that would be happy hour since we don't start teaching until 5pm the next day and don't get out till about 10ish...hence the 1AM shopping and 24hr shops.

So we're headed into town after work to a cozy little spot called 45 to celebrate Teacher Erika's bday - I'm thinking westernized pub with a gawdy sign. Not so. Think Harry Potter and the train station at 9 and 3/4 platform that separates the magical world from the non-magical. Seems like a you-either-know-it-or-you-don't place, unless you drunkenly stumble upon it, in which case you wouldn't remember anyway. Turns out to be a pretty spaciously compact place. It's backwards, yeah? Yeah.

So I'm thinking this must be a pretty typical teacher's night out - decent beer, funny stories, indoor smoking, and Taiwanese people giving each other haircuts. YES. It boggles my mind too, but I love how wacky everyone is and how unashamed they are. Good times.

Teacher Paul thinks so too.

Greener on the Other Side

2008-03-03T07:28:00.000-08:00

I off the plane late in the evening and my school arranges a room for me at the well known "Love Hotel" where there are circular beds, weird buttons with Chinese captions that probably set off vibrations if one knows how to read chinese, and jacuzzi tubs or curtainless showers. What a great start to greener grasses, eh?

I made the mistake of traveling with a broken camera that only takes pics with a yellow tint, so you'll notice that most of the footage is in video form. It's pathetic I know, but I also believed that I was going to find a cheaper camera here than in the states. NOT TRUE. Don't fall for the "it's made in Taiwan so it's GOT to be cheaper" bit. People here pay more for some of the electronics that we could easily find good deals for on amazon. Bastards. And the polaroid...well, once I confirm that they sell polaroid film, I'll put that to use.