My Kids.

For the most part, the kids at Shane are enjoyable to teach. Actually, entertaining is more like it. They're nice kids but they never cease to amuse me - nervously farting during a one-on-one oral exam, picking their noses then quickly stuffing it in their mouths. Just the other day, two boys from my older class gave each other lap dances for the sake of acting out a love story. In return for a job well done, I granted them less homework. You're thinking - how perverse, tricking young boys into homosexuality. It's true. But I bet you're just mad you didn't come up with the idea sooner. Seriously though, it is frustrating at times when they just refuse to learn and you realize just how bad it is come midterm/final exam. For example, a recent oral exam went a little something like this -

Me: Do you drink a lot of milk?
Student: In my refrigerator, there are a few eggs.
Me: (slowly repeating with a few hand gestures) Do...you...drink...a lot...of...milk?
Student: There are a lot of milk.


I'm thinking: wow. I kid you not. I actually witnessed a similar situation while Teacher Paul was giving an oral exam (funny, no pun intended) that went like this -


Paul: (holding up a blue pen) Is this pen blue?
Student: My name is John.
Paul: No no, see this? (waves pen) Is it blue?
Student: Today....(blank stare)
Paul: Is it blue? (Starts giving away the answer by nodding) 'Yes, it....'
Student: Yes, it do!


Clever young things aren't they? And they love imagining this crazy life for me...





















And we got two new teachers: Tom and Gemma, both of them taught in Vietnam before coming to Taiwan. We went out for a couple of drinks at The Voice, where we also met two other teachers they knew from Vietnam. Brenda (one of my TA's), and Trent was there two. Double fisting of course.

Forever yours.

For those of you who know me well, will know that I did not travel half way around the world to Taiwan in search of true romance. Granted it's something I would do, there's nothing here that I don't have in NY. If anything, I'm running away from love - all of it. The heartbreak, the responsibilities, the commitment, living on the cusp of a damned passion that's constantly threatening to end. And then what?

NY is a land of opportunity, tis true. Everything is a window of opportunity to a lucrative business. If growing up in NY has taught me anything at all, it's that one person can actually drown in its endless possibilities of fame and/or fortune. If you really wanted it, come to NY and you shall have it. Exercise your power and knowledge of a user and abuser, and everyone is at your disposal. With all the beauty that walk the streets around us, we become vain shells. In a city where gratuity for our services are required, we're used to paying for a smile without ever understanding the true meaning of sincerity. There's a fine line between a gold-digger and a wife. A salesperson and the devil. A model/actress and a high-end courtesan. There's no telling who is what and what is fucked up. But I love NY nonetheless, fucked up - born and bred.

Coming to Taiwan, where opportunities are limited but anything can happen - it helps filter out what really matters. Without your security blanket, an ocean between you and your loved ones - you start to realize who you truly are on the inside, what you can and can't live without.

And for the record, Trent is not my boyfriend. So please stop harassing.

On that note - LET'S GO RANGERS!!!

And METS!!!

Going down...south.

It was Tomb Sweeping weekend and we had a few days off so we decided to head down south to explore some new territory. First we took a nice comfy bus ride down to Taichung where it sucked ass. Besides a really big and cheap night market, there was really not much going on. Everytime we asked for directions, someone would always put us in a cab and we'd end up in bumblefuck. I swear it's karma from all those times we sent tourists on a path train to New Jersey when they wanted to go to Times Square.

After the night, we booked outta there asap and took a crappier bus ride down to Tainan and to our relief, they welcomed us with open arms!

It was the weekend of Mazu Festival - when they celebrate the exit of one God and celebrate the arrival of the next. I think they have a few Gods in which they rotate over the course of a lunar year to watch over the people. It was a parade a minute with firecrackers at every turn of a corner, and fireworks at night. And this took place BOTH days we were there. Muy festive! And then we happened upon their form of traffic control, which we found to be quite amusing....

At least s/he gets the job done. There were also billions of temples, amongst them is the famous Confucius Temple, Chi Kan Temple, Temple of the 5 Concubines, etc.

Some ancient artifacts preserved from the first days of the Confucius temple. Tells us a great deal about how they lived back then.



















Then we tried some different foods that Tainan are well known for - like Wha Gwei. I actually have no idea what it is. I told my local Taiwanese friends that I tried that and they said, "Oh yes! I know what that! It's really good!" I still have no idea what that was.



A stroll in the park right before our 6 hour ride on the train SITTING ON THE FLOOR. Spontaneity just doesn't work well when it comes to a holiday weekend in Taiwan. Both train and bus stations were packed with people trying to get back home. Nobody spoke english so the closest we got was a ticket machine - except they had translations like "Fu Zing" and "Chu Lin" which means absolutely nothing to us! 6 hours. On the floor. It was a nightmare.