Quiet Hope.

When I'm tempted to kiss someone else
I will put those kisses in my pocket.
When my pocket overflows, I will store them in a box
And hug it with a pretty red ribbon.
When I'm lost and feeling lonely,
I'll know that my heart knows that it's you it misses.
When I'm thinking too much
I will put my pen to a piece of paper
To write my romance into a love letter
And seal it with hope and faith, for you.
I will work on my achievements and save them in a bank
So we can use it to build our home.
I will learn how to trust myself and break down these walls
So you can trust what you see when you see only me.
And when you tire from your search and what you have always been searching for,
You will find your present and not your past
You will find that my kisses, my hugs, my faith and my love
Were made and saved for none other than you.
And when you find me, I'll know that I have found you.

Pacing the Edge.

An excerpt from The Zahir written by Paulo Coelho...

"A lovely hotel awaited me on the other side of the river, with its luxurious rooms its attentive employees, its five-star service. And that only made me feel worse, because I should have felt contented, satisfied with all I had achieved.
On the way back, I passed other people in the same situation and noticed that they fell into two categories: those who looked arrogant, because they wanted to pretend they had chosen to be alone that night, and those who looked sad and ashamed of their solitary state.
I'm telling you all this because the other day I remembered being in a hotel room in Amsterdam with a woman who was talking to me about her life. I'm telling you all this because, although in Ecclesiastes it says there is a time to rend and a time to sew, sometimes the time to rend leaves deep scars. Being with someone else and making that person feel as if they were of no importance in our life is far worse than feeling alone and miserable in the streets of Geneva."

That idiotic something.

"They say you can't turn a bad girl good but once a good girl's gone bad, she's gone forever." Jay-Z.

"It sobers you up if you're drunk," he says.
Her presence throbs to my corner right.
"Sure, why not," I said.
Am I really doing this? One more glance.
Laughing, camera flashes, one shot has never felt so long.
"Alright but we gotta do it in the bathroom," he says.
I'm secretly begging now, please come back to me.
I walk over, I ask to have a drink, he checks his phone.
"Let's go," I said, "But just a little, I've never done it before."
"We can just do one line. I'm sorry, I'm fucked up right now,
are you sure you want to?" he asks.
"Yeah." By now, I've stopped any train of thought.
I didn't want to acknowledge what was going on.
I feel the questions, the doubt, the shame, the hurt -
Just trying to touch me. Trying to stop this rising wall.
The bathroom line is too long, it wasn't worth the wait.
Another bullet dodged.
Breathe. Be patient. Be classy. Just...take it.
Dance it off, block out the world, have fun.
Let the poison wash over you and give into it
That's your only comfort now.
That and the girl in pink who barely knows you,
But dances with you nonetheless,
Getting your 6's and 7's -
Everything he should've been doing, but isn't.
Another lifetime goes by, and I think I'm taking that leap of faith.
I see him smiling my way, walking towards me.
I see a hand on his shoulder, a whisper in his ear.
And just like that, the road forks into two.
We're always advised to take the path less trodden,
But he's always been a rebel.
How a simple touch can remind oneself that our safety net remains,
So fall back into it because "We're Safe."
A string from my heart to your feet
Watching you walk away,
My heartbeat sync'ed.
I'm secretly begging again.
But this time, offer me that line and I promise I will cross it.

So I ask myself today:
How did I end up being here? Again.
I traveled to the edges of this bubble
To release the bitter and have faith in the good.
You can ask for it, demand it,
But it's a promise you can only make to yourself.
And if the respect isn't there
Then something has to change
Someone has to go
A decision has to be made.
And I choose to respect myself.

Like lions we...wish to soar.

I couldn't help but notice...

The murky glass ceiling that prevents us from seeing the stars that aren't there,

The leaves on that tree growing indoors, how it changes with the seasons.

The cockroach amidst the oranges, heading for me and my solo,

The waiter, who's only as good as the manager if he's gay.

Those eyes like drawn out dragonflies, and a heartbeat translucent as its wings

Comes a still frame, with the contours of a blond chardonnay

So dry I tasted the kiss of unkissed lips,

A night without socks is a night without bowling,

A night with a guest list is the one night we decide to go nameless.

Love comes and lovers go,

Good times stay and heartbreaks follow.
Pride won't let us look back
But we're too proud to move forward, too proud to let go,
Just terrified of the fear that makes us vulnerable.

And sometimes...I just can't help but notice why that is.