A typical night

Three, two, one...Bimbo.

You heard right. That's how my 7 year olds do the countdown...three, two, one, BIMBO! Although I'm pretty sure they mean "Bingo!" I also asked my older kids who's their favorite American actor:

Marcus: Oh Teacha yes, you know Black Pig?

Me: Black Pig? (He nods). Who's Black Pig?

Marcus: C'mon Teacha, so famous! You must know. Much handsome!

Me: Why do they call him Black Pig? Is he black?

Marcus: No, whiter than you! C'mon, Black Pig! Umm....yes, the Angelina husband!

Another mystery solved. On with some visuals!

All we really do is play games with the kids, getting them to speak as much English as possible. We get yelled at by our managers if we don't. Talk about being backwards. So anyway, this is how I like to keep score sometimes - drawing ugly faces. Sometimes I get shivers just looking at drawings cuz they're so realistically ugly. Eeegh.

Last night was pretty sad. We had a intimate get together for Corrie's last night out in Taiwan - she's headed back to the States. Boston to be exact. Cape Cod to be even more so. Don't we hate Boston as much as they hate NY? (Except for Cape Cod because they produce very Skaterboy like products. Sorry, inside joke.) And here are some pics showing just how intimate it was....

Corrie and me half cut

One can clearly tell how much we'll miss her...

Me and Hammie - we be thinkin some scandalous thoughts

"Calling all gays!"

Honey, please! I'll do what I want!

This is such a jaded NY face, ain't it? He went to Stuy. Fag.

And here's a brief clip of Rebecca, also a fellow teacher I met during training. She lives a bit far so I visited her for the weekend and had an awesome girly girly talking, DVD time. She's headed back to Spokane for July 4th...I'm so jealous.

You'll Always be My Seattle.

Do you hear me, I'm talking to you
Across the water, across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying.
Boy I hear you in my dreams,
I feel you whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart,
You make it easier when life gets hard.

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home someday....


Wherever that may be. We'll meet again one day. Promise.



What we wanna be when we grow up...complete idiots.


The clock tower in Vancouver...what the hell were we doing in Vancouver?!






The Moore Theatre & Hotel...you'd leave if you had somewhere to go.



Our one and only Starbucks, iced non-fat vanilla chai please.


BPC ain't got shit on...on this water that runs along Pike St. Market



Ben Ben's bathroom the night before our hiking trip...





Calling Mr. Rusty Thrasher...










At the edge of NW America. Seriously. Any further and you'd end up in Canada. It's a scary thought.


Hey remember Ginger? Of course you do, it's that dumb bimbo GPS that kept giving us wrong directions. And don't go thinking "yeah, cuz it's a girl" cuz Ginger was a trannie.



The family...well, like two of them. I don't know who that girl is. Who is she and why does she keep popping up in my pictures?


My grandma says kiwi makes you go poo poo








And some footage from our days in the land of vampires. It was...most awesome.

Taiwan Scattergories

Actual Name of the Game: Scattergories
Classroom Name: Teacha, play dice!
Task: Think of words for a specific category that no one else has in order to score points. If someone else wrote down the same word: no points.
Student's Method of Task Completion: Copy foreign words off English posters made in Taiwan (clearly).

Round 1 Category: Animals

Me: Alright Stacey, what've you got?
Stacey: Elephant.
Me: Who's got elephant? (no hands) Good! One point for Stacey.
Stacey: Star, Teacha, I want star!
Me: Sure. Wilson, give me an animal.
Wilson: Cock.
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Wilson: COCK!
Me: By 'cock' you mean...
Wilson: (eagerly pointing at the animal poster with a ROOSTER on it)
Me: Right. Cocka-doodle-do. Who's got cock? (no hands) Score Wilson, score.

Round 2 Category: Vegetables

Mandy: Eggplant!
Me: Whoa, good one. Who's got eggplant? (everyone) Aww, that's too bad Mandy. No star. You're up Jack.
Jack: Cum.
Me: (straight face) Cum? (he nods) I...don't...think...cum's a vegetable Jack.
Jack: (clearly confused) Yes it is!
Me: Well, what's a cum?
(At this point, all students are jumping up and down asking "What's cum, what's cum?!" until I read what he wrote.)
Me: CoRn, Jack. CORRRN.
Jack: Yes, cun is a vegetable!

So you see, teaching in Taiwan ain't all that bad. If you don't make a big reaction, the kids won't suspect they said anything bad. But in some cases, they do catch on and will use it at any chance they possibly get, in all the wrong contexts. It's cool in my book cuz it's still English right?

The past two weekends have been no different - more drinking, partying, and...weird dancing.

Anthony came to town so we grabbed a full meal to line our tummies...


My delicious wonton soup noodle with passion fruit tea


Then it's off to join our other teaching buddies at a cafe lounge, Roxy Junior's.
Alastir & Charlene


Mike, Tom, & Gemma discussing how tall Taiwan cockroaches are


Ant, me, & Trent kicking back on some NASTY appletini's


Ant successfully cradle robbing...


After we convinced Ant to give the baby back, we headed over to Roxy 99's which is under the same chain as Roxy Junior. See, you work your way up and into the world of drunken stupor and gropage. You start with Roxy Junior's, the dance and mingle with ass grabbers at Roxy 99 (think Icehouse in Binghamton), and then move into some sultry aftermath at Vibe (like a Roxy Senior). Then you wake up in broad daylight about 10ft from your doorstep, face was in the ground, with a McD's bag clutched in your left hand. What the fuck just happened? Well, for starters, this did:

Bringing back the videos...featuring Mx & Mike


Alan - one of the first teachers I've met here.


Corrie and Kat


Paul and Kat


Mike - the giver


Alastir with the giver in the back, of course


Mx


Me & Corlia - treadmill buddy

Hammie and Corlia - workout buddies


When the going gets good


Good times come in 3's


Tome & drunken Gemma. We don't know the fob in the back.


A taste of Mike's hardcore dancing. Viewer's discretion is advised.



Next weekend, we opted for something a little more mellow and laid back so we checked out this live band venue called "Oldies Goodies" entertaining, to say the least, watching these Taiwanese folk perform. Ha.




Enjoy SATC in NYC!!! Ting Ting Bao Bao (xoxo).

The Source of all Activities Gay

I have decided that I'd rather die from bug repellent overdose than be eaten alive by gigantic flying cockroaches, spiders, and/or mosquitoes. A co-worker told me that there's a time when the weather gets so humid that all these goddamned bugs come out from their hiding places to torment the human beings and you can hear them smacking into windows cuz they're just flying everywhere. I couldn't tell if he was bullshitting me but I don't like to take chances. So I went online and found this...for really cheap too. You best believe I'd wear one of these bad boys because I'm gonna be ready for those suckers.


Last weekend we partied like animals and drank like our forefathers. I mean what else are foreigners in a foreign land supposed to do besides hang out with other foreigners doing exactly what we did back home? The Idioteque party was held at The Source, a small venue known as a gay has-been. The only gay activities we were blessed with were some pole-dancing, expertly demonstrated by our very own Andy and Trent. I failed to capture any of it on film but once again - bravo Trent, bravo. This guy never ceases to amaze me with his sleek pole sliding skills and dainty prancing, and of course the double fisting.

Trent & Brenda


Brian & Andy

Kester & Kyvin (sp?) performing live...

Andy & Paul (bday boy)

Paul, Corrie, Hammie & Cat

Paul & Corrie



Next day, I headed out to Rose House for a very SATC tea time with Elaine, whom I'd met and worked on set with back home. It was awesome talking to someone who's hometown is Taiwan but has lived in NY and loved it. The cultures, school systems, guys, social lives, you name it.

Waffles & hot Green Mango fruit tea for me...

Elaine sipping her iced Apple fruit tea via champagne glass...

And to top off all this G-rated blogging, I changed my bedsheets to an alluring leopard print. My mom, dad, grandma, and baby cousin all read this so I don't think they want to hear about which foreign countries I've been visiting, privately. Kidding mom, kidding. You're wondering how all my clothes fit into that one small wardrobe. It doesn't.