Blog, what blog?

Delayed update - I know. I've been busy doing...stuff. But here's a giggle:

(After 5 minutes of complete jibberish and wonking around with my first class of the day...)

Me: Hey. Do you guys think I'm crazy?
(A couple of smiles, some pretend straight faces)
Me: Seriously, do you think Teacher is crazy?
Charles: (bravely) Mmm. Like 50/50.
Me: Ok. That's not so bad.
Charles: Wait. Maybe like 70/30.
Me: You mean 70% crazy and 30% normal?
Charles: No. 70% crazy and 30% stupid.

Thanks Charles. I needed that.


And some photo updates for your viewing pleasure as always. First and foremost - first time KTV'ing in Taiwan (aka karaoke).

Me, Danni, & Scott. I never fail to look like the idiot.

Some Taiwanese ppl. It's only natural to have them in there too.

There I go again. Every. single. time.

Yay!

Then it was off to shoot some infomercial the next day - completely hungover and reeking of alcohol with about 4 hours of sleep sans shower, any form of teeth brushing or mouth rinsing, same clothes and underwear. I mean, I DID change for the shoot and took a quick Mexican shower but the nappy hair and bad breath - wonk wonk.

Suffocating in my own filth while she cakes on the white makeup.

And we're rolling...

...At least he had a comfy bed to almost pass out on. To save himself from boredom, he tried to inconspicuously take pics of the crew's asses...

...yet rather unsuccessfully.

By now, I am completely dehydrated and melting under the lights. And dying to scratch my crotch. Ha! Don't act like you don't get those moments, you dirty bastard.

The other girls.

...And a shot from the final product. Yes, that happens to be the latest vibrator in town. Super industrial to withstand long lasting usage with phenomenal battery life. For rated G purposes, I will not disclose the actual infomercial link.

And then some weekends afterwards, we thought to go for a cheap bicycle ride along the river. The breeze was mighty splendid.

And I think my camel toe caught some of that breeze too. :) Don't pretend like that wasn't the first thing you noticed.

The view. If you look closely, Taipei 101 is there. Swear it.

Our super cheap rental bikes - Pinky and Tin Man - $0.50 - $1.50 per hour.

And finally, an ugly looking bridge colored in orange and purple. Talk about lack of color coordination.

And so sums up some of the things I've been up to. Minus all the limitless drinking - but I figure you've been getting enough of that so I'll spare you this time around. But I can guarantee you - we have NOT been lazy in that department.

Super excited about upcoming travels - looking at Cambodia and Laos during Thanksgiving so holla back if you're interested. But for a more immediate taste of gratification - 'Breaking Dawn' will be arriving in my mailbox soon (thanks Jack), the ongoing sequel to a popular vampire fiction. So I dig sexy vampires, bite me.

A typical night

Three, two, one...Bimbo.

You heard right. That's how my 7 year olds do the countdown...three, two, one, BIMBO! Although I'm pretty sure they mean "Bingo!" I also asked my older kids who's their favorite American actor:

Marcus: Oh Teacha yes, you know Black Pig?

Me: Black Pig? (He nods). Who's Black Pig?

Marcus: C'mon Teacha, so famous! You must know. Much handsome!

Me: Why do they call him Black Pig? Is he black?

Marcus: No, whiter than you! C'mon, Black Pig! Umm....yes, the Angelina husband!

Another mystery solved. On with some visuals!

All we really do is play games with the kids, getting them to speak as much English as possible. We get yelled at by our managers if we don't. Talk about being backwards. So anyway, this is how I like to keep score sometimes - drawing ugly faces. Sometimes I get shivers just looking at drawings cuz they're so realistically ugly. Eeegh.

Last night was pretty sad. We had a intimate get together for Corrie's last night out in Taiwan - she's headed back to the States. Boston to be exact. Cape Cod to be even more so. Don't we hate Boston as much as they hate NY? (Except for Cape Cod because they produce very Skaterboy like products. Sorry, inside joke.) And here are some pics showing just how intimate it was....

Corrie and me half cut

One can clearly tell how much we'll miss her...

Me and Hammie - we be thinkin some scandalous thoughts

"Calling all gays!"

Honey, please! I'll do what I want!

This is such a jaded NY face, ain't it? He went to Stuy. Fag.

And here's a brief clip of Rebecca, also a fellow teacher I met during training. She lives a bit far so I visited her for the weekend and had an awesome girly girly talking, DVD time. She's headed back to Spokane for July 4th...I'm so jealous.

You'll Always be My Seattle.

Do you hear me, I'm talking to you
Across the water, across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying.
Boy I hear you in my dreams,
I feel you whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart,
You make it easier when life gets hard.

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home someday....


Wherever that may be. We'll meet again one day. Promise.



What we wanna be when we grow up...complete idiots.


The clock tower in Vancouver...what the hell were we doing in Vancouver?!






The Moore Theatre & Hotel...you'd leave if you had somewhere to go.



Our one and only Starbucks, iced non-fat vanilla chai please.


BPC ain't got shit on...on this water that runs along Pike St. Market



Ben Ben's bathroom the night before our hiking trip...





Calling Mr. Rusty Thrasher...










At the edge of NW America. Seriously. Any further and you'd end up in Canada. It's a scary thought.


Hey remember Ginger? Of course you do, it's that dumb bimbo GPS that kept giving us wrong directions. And don't go thinking "yeah, cuz it's a girl" cuz Ginger was a trannie.



The family...well, like two of them. I don't know who that girl is. Who is she and why does she keep popping up in my pictures?


My grandma says kiwi makes you go poo poo








And some footage from our days in the land of vampires. It was...most awesome.